I have been running from God, and I am low on energy. It takes a lot out of you when you are trying to avoid your source for EVERYTHING.
Last January, I told God that I would surrender all that I had over to Him; I told Him that whatever He asked of me, I would do it.
He asked some big things of me (or at least they felt big to me), and I would be lying if I told you that I didn’t reluctantly agree to some of the requests. On the other side of those yeses, I am so glad He knows better than I do. He always knows best, and He can always be trusted.
Back in October, God began to place the word ‘confidence’ into my spirit. Soon thereafter, I realized that ‘confidence’ would be my word for 2019 and He had begun preparing me for what that would practically mean for me then.
I believe that God wants me to be confident in who He has called me to be, confident that He knows best, and confident that I can trust Him with it ALL- even the things I don’t feel like doing or feel equipped to do.
Let’s take a quick break and flashback in time with me to 7th-grade. I will save you all of the gross details of what that year looked like for me, but I do want to take you back to my 7th-grade math classroom. First of all, you should know that math is not my strong suit and at that impressionable age, I was struggling to be approved my so many people.
After totally BOMBING MULTIPLE math tests, my teacher informed me that I was doing it all right. I was doing my homework and working as hard as I could, but I was missing one thing: confidence. Soon thereafter, I went on a quest for what that meant because I desperately wanted it. 7th-grade was hard, and it became even more difficult after I realized that I didn’t have confidence. It was the very thing standing in the way of everything I wanted to be. Approved.
Fast-forward to today, I find myself much stronger than I did as an insecure, always nervous, awkward 7th-grader. Since then, I have found my voice, a man of God who loves me, and a life I’ve fought to have. But in this season I have found myself running from my Abba and it’s because He’s asking me to do something I don’t feel capable of doing well. It’s something that my confidence is lacking in and it has taken me by surprise.
Writing.
I have been paralyzed. It has now been MONTHS since I’ve strung words together on a page. I feel the call to write but an urge to run. I have found that running from this call is causing me to run from God. I know I’ve been disobedient, and I have allowed the stubborn part of me to take from what God and I have together. I’ve been keeping a safe distance to keep from hearing what I know He’s saying. But I’m missing out, and I’m missing Him.
It’s not worth it.
Do you know why?
Because I am already approved.
God has appointed me and called me to write. That means that if only one person reads this blog, heck, if I am the only person that reads this blog, that’s enough. It’s not about anyone or anything else. This is about being obedient to the call God has placed on my life and standing CONFIDENTLY in what He is asking me to do.
I don’t have to do it perfectly or have the approval of those sitting on the other side of this screen. My Father has called me, and therefore, I have been equipped and approved for the path He has set before me.
This blog may not have a great layout or a great main idea, but these words are filled with an obedient heart trusting that God knows what’s up and I don’t…and that’s okay. This blog is me telling God that while I don’t feel confident in me, I am confident in Him and what He calls out in me.
But if someone is here, let me leave you with this.
Whatever it is that you are desperately longing approval for, know that if God has called you there, you are already approved. You don’t have to strive or overthink. You don’t have to have the nod of human affirmation or a ‘like’ on a social media platform. Perfection doesn’t matter, opinions of others do not matter, and your call does not shape to what we feel we are capable of doing. We are not limited by our own understanding, and for that, I am grateful and completely relieved.
But before we start finding out what He has in store, we have to know that whatever we set out to do in His name, we are…
already approved.
Anonymous says
Awesome word!
Sunnie Cotton says
Thank you for taking the time to read it!
Millie says
Sunnie! So inspiring! Needed this💕
Sunnie Cotton says
Thank you, Millie!!!! ♥️
Kelsey says
Thank you for sharing!
Sunnie Cotton says
Thank you for reading, Kelsey : )
Jamie Wassum says
Always so proud of you Sunnie!
Sunnie Cotton says
You are such a huge encouragment to me, Jamie!
Carol Hagan says
I have been missing your blog posts, Sunnie! You have such a gift for sharing inspiring words from your walk with God. Thank you—love you, my friend!
Anonymous says
Thank you for obedience….it ignites, it empowers, it calls for other obedience 😉
Jenifer says
You’re one of my favorite ways to start the day! I love focusing on the “sunnieside” no matter what life has in store. Keep it coming, and yay for confidence, obedience, and a whole lot of talent! Cuz, girl, you’ve got it!
Jayme says
God has given you a gift, dear friend! He inspires and works through your words and I thank you for being courageous in obedience to Him!
Dennise Romine says
Sunnie, to know you is like being in the presence of a mighty warrior of God! I enjoy serving with you and Chase weekly!
Sunnie Cotton says
WHEW! Dennise, I don’t know about all that, but do know that your words mean SO MUCH to me, dear friend of mine!
Roxanne Watts says
This was a SPECIAL ONE. I have been running also. Your RIGHT it is NOT worth it!!
Terri Kalina says
Beautifully written. Thank you for always encouraging others, including myself.
Sunnie Cotton says
Thank YOU, Terri, for your kind encouragement!