There’s nothing like giving a student permission to hold you accountable for your goals.
That’s why I’m up writing this blog late on a Monday night.
Living by example sounds good until you have to do it, ya feel?
I don’t have children, but I have students, and I try my best to be sure I’m leading and living by example. So if I’m going to ask someone to do something, I better be willing to do it myself.
Two weeks ago, I encouraged a student to stick to one of his goals and reminded him that he would be encouraged and held accountable in the process. Then, I did what I knew I would regret… I gave him permission to hold me accountable for writing AND POSTING (the most challenging part) a blog on Tuesday, September 28th.
And here I am, at 9:07 p.m. the night before struggling to complete the task and accomplish the goal. Time management is something I also talk to my students about, and yes, I preach to the choir many, many times. But, I am also transparent about my struggle– something I plan to be up-front about again (insert facepalm here) tomorrow.
While I could go on and on about how time management and goal setting go hand-in-hand, I would ignore the real reasons we procrastinate our goals instead of pursuing them. The three F’s (okay, there are way more, but I will start rambling if I don’t limit them– see… I’m doing it now.)
Okay, back to the three F’s – sorry.
Forgetfulness. Frustration. Fear.
Forgetfulness.
This one seems to be an easy excuse I tend to use internally to validate my shortcomings. I forgot about this goal right up until last night…seriously. “I forgot” – it’s as simple as that. But truthfully, it’s not so much the lack of remembering; it’s the absence of intentionality. If we don’t set out at the beginning of setting a goal with a plan of action, there’s a substantial possibility nothing will happen. We don’t just wake up and hit our goals; we have to be intentional; we have to make a plan before executing it.
Frustration.
When I ask students why they are having a hard time accomplishing their goals, they often tell me they are frustrated. Now, this could mean we need to go back and re-work the action steps and break them down a bit more. Sometimes, it’s because they need more support and feel alone, or they want to be a pro followed by instant gratification. I have felt all of the above too. But when it comes to writing, especially, I want to be good, like really good, without putting in the actual work. The kind where you know you will sometimes fail, be inconsistent, and forgo the process of growth. Growth is messy and complicated, and choosing to grow as you go isn’t for the faint of heart. I become embarrassingly frustrated when I’m not instantly a pro, and then I become discouraged in the process of getting there. Frustration can halt our goals almost as fast as fear can…the next and final “f” up for bat.
Fear.
I’ve noticed fear is often a theme in the strings of words I put together. Yet, I am all about not allowing fear to dictate and take away from my life. I think that’s because fear of failure can completely paralyze me (it’s an Enneagram 3 thing, for real). I sometimes feel I am constantly allowing fear to keep me from moving forward, pursuing, and accomplishing my goals. Follow-through is often absent in the presence of fear. So, somewhere along the way, I adopted this safe form of living where if I don’t try, I don’t fail.
Consequently, I don’t really live either. I never actually move forward…I stand still in the same place I’ve been for a while now. That can become a stale and lackluster environment if we aren’t careful.
And that’s what happens when we don’t set, pursue, and accomplish our goals.
So, what do we do about it? Now that we’ve acknowledged what keeps us from accomplishing our goals, how do we stop NOT accomplishing our goals and START doing something about them?
Why don’t we start from the beginning of the alphabet and replace our forgetfulness with…
Attention.
Our frustration with….
Accountability.
And our fear with…
Action.
Attention.
If we want to accomplish something, we have to pay attention to it; we have to emphasize it and be intentional. Set the goal, then create 3-5 action steps on how you will actually accomplish the goal you’ve set for yourself. Remind yourself of your goal each day, write it on your mirror, write it in your notes, take a screenshot of it, and make it the background of your phone. Look at them every single day. Pay attention to combat forgetfulness; it can’t be our excuse anymore.
Accountability.
Let me be very honest with you at the time of what has now turned into 10:00 p.m. If I hadn’t allowed someone to hold me accountable to the goal of writing and publishing a blog by tomorrow, I wouldn’t be doing it. There is profound power in accountability. If you want to accomplish something, find someone to hold you accountable for your action steps. Surround yourself with the support you need to achieve the goal and see how far it takes you.
Acton.
I wore a shirt that said, “Just Do It” when jumping out of a plane. If fear is normal, then we have to learn how to set aside all the reasons we shouldn’t and find some that say we should…then make the jump. Sometimes it’s as simple as setting fear aside and reminding ourselves that significance isn’t always safe, and living life within the lines we’ve subjected ourselves to isn’t going to take us very far. Now is the time. Stop reading this blog. Write down a goal, three objectives on how you plan to reach it, give it the attention it needs to gain importance, find someone to hold you accountable, and…ACTION!
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston Churchill
Jamie Lynn Wassum says
Oh how true!! This is great!!
Sunnie Cotton says
Thank you for always cheering me on when I post, Jamie!!!
Alex Wilkerson says
This is great, Sunnie!
Jenifer Mathis says
I’m using this! Off to replace all my “F’s” with “A’s!” 😊 Love it!!