A year ago, behind the smile on my face, I was a wreck. Everything on the outside looked put together and tidy. I had just gotten a great job, a fun-loving puppy, and bought a home with my husband.
I found myself 100 percent, absolutely wrecked to my core. The years of blows my family and I experienced were now taking a toll on what should have been the best of times.
My defense mechanism was chaos, a needed distraction that became my identity. Now that the dust had settled I felt lost and began to feel the wounds ache from years of fighting battle after battle. I was a captive of the chaos and it was my comfort zone. The storm became the norm and now that the storm was non-existent, so was my identity. My foundation was built on the unpredictable, pain-filled moments that had become the life I lived. I lived within the lines of expectation of who I was supposed to be and forced my way to acceptance.
I was wrecked and didn’t even know it.
I was in desperate need of redemption, and though I didn’t know it, God did. That has become one of my favorite things about who God is; He knows the needs we have before we do. So in knowing what my soul needed, God took me on a journey- a spiritual, mental, emotional, and eventually, a physical journey.
This journey was not something I saw coming. It took me, along with those who love me, by surprise. There are parts of that journey that hurt those close to me, and there are parts of it that I am not proud of. I was a wrecked human being. But God took me on a journey of redemption and, undoubtedly, redeemed me.
My favorite definition of the word redeemed has to be this:
-to free from what distresses or harms: such as
a : to free from captivity by payment of ransom
b : to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental
I was freed from the captivity of chaos and what my life was about to become. After all of it, I can hear God’s voice more now than ever. He is calling me to live a life full of hope with the knowledge of his great goodness. We all go through dark, scary, sometimes long tunnels, but God has the desire and ability to shine the light of redemption in the darkness if we allow Him. God brought redemption to the wreckage of my soul, shined His healing love in my life, and I can’t wait to tell you more about it.
Sunnie Side Up: Live Life Bright Side Up is a product of my redemptive journey. My hope is that other people’s journeys along with mine will not just be featured to fill an empty page, but paint a picture of God’s bright and hope-filled redemption He wants for you and me. We are called to love, make a difference, and live without the limits to which we bind ourselves. Our best life is waiting to be lived, and I look forward to walking this journey with you. Let’s choose to allow God’s redemptive grace to illuminate this wrecked world and make a difference that lasts. Let’s live bright side up, together.
Lynn Martin says
I can’t wait to read more, Sunnie. Best wishes for a blog that changes lives!
Sunnie Cotton says
Thank you for your sweet encouragement, Lynn!
Natalie Cantrell says
We are redeemed every day by a God who blesses us even though we don’t think we deserve it! Thank u so much Sunnie for being just one of the many blessings God has brought into my life! I love u as one of my own children ❤️💖
Jordan Fleming says
Sunnie,
I have really enjoyed reading your blog so far. Can’t wait for the next post!