I have compared myself to others my whole life. My nervous habits, the inability to work with numbers, my skin, over-the-top emotion, and awkward facial expressions have always made me feel inadequate compared to others. I have felt less than and not good enough.
Growing up, I tried being enough for an important person in my life. I was a young girl with the desire to make it all better and fought to fix it…and I failed. The fight went on for years, and I refused to give up.
The fight almost ended me. I felt that I was a failure and doubted God’s unique plans for my life. I watched other girls; I looked on them with deep envy and knew something had to be wrong with me. I needed to be more like them. Maybe if I was not so loud, awkward, and more put together, good things would come my way. My longing for approval and desire to make uncontrollable circumstances better fueled the battle of comparison in my life. Comparison was an inevitable result of fighting to be enough and failing every time.
Why does my value weigh itself in the hands of another’s virtue? God has made me beautifully unique in his sight, so why do I think that my loud voice, awkward ways, and an undone spirit have to be a bad thing? He created those so-called detriments, and I believe they each can serve a purpose and add to what He has in store for my days ahead.
Comparison brings inadequacies, unworthiness, and major discontentment. Comparison is a thief that can take the best from us, the essence of what makes up who we are. Comparison can come from deep-rooted heart issues, or speaking negatively over ourselves in the mirror, or the reflection of a screen.
God’s plan for someone else’s life does not discount His plan for you or me. Comparing my progress up against someone else is an injustice and probably a little offensive to a God who knows the greatness He has in store.
Psalm 139:13-16 says this:
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
I love that verse 15 says that “I was woven together”. When a basket is woven together various parts and elements are taken to create something whole, something to be used for a purpose. Each basket is unique and can be used to carry something out from one place to another.
He knows the good things for which He has created us. He knows your flaws make you wonderful. He knows those strands make up the unique plan for your life. No matter how that battle of comparison has been waged, remember that scowled upon strand will be used for a greater purpose and a greater good. Maybe you have been bullied, maybe the mirror or the virtual screen speaks lies over you, maybe someone made you feel you were not good enough. Whatever it may be, God intends to carry out His greater purpose into a world that needs a unique you.
Speak goodness over yourself daily. Take those inadequacies and find the unique beauty in them. Face yourself and accept yourself for who you are and admire what God created. Comparison is the silent purpose-taker, do not allow it to take from the essence of who you are. Tell it to shut its mouth and go on and live your life with all you are and with all you have. Because, my friend, you have a lot of good. Take it and use it, because you were wonderfully made and uniquely woven.
Jamie Wassum says
Everyone has a different beauty and different qualities and I think that women need to learn to love their qualities and be comfortable in the fact that everyone is different.
Jenifer Mathis says
Ohhhhhh Sunnie! This is so good! I’m taking notes on this one and choosing to speak goodness over myself daily! What if each of us learned to find the unique beauty in ourselves and then became “gold diggers,” calling out the beautifully unique treasures in others?! Thank you for hope, encouragement, and a call to action! Love, love, love!
Mary Craig says
Oh my goodness, Sunnie. You have spoken what my young life was. Always not good enough. Always not pretty enough. Always a step below everyone else. God placed my purpose when he introduced me to my husband. Sure lots of people say ” Don’t let a man define you, don’t be in submission to a man”. But God placed this man in my life to show me I was worth something. I have been adored by the same man for almost 46 years. With that adoration came a confidence in my self that I was lacking. I can look back at my life and see how God’s plan came to fruition in my life. I praise God for my young life of inadequecies because I had to wait on His time to prove to me I was of some value. I know this may sound crazy and a bit wandering but your blog really touched me this morning. I praise God for young women like yourself who are not afraid of being who they are. God bless you Sunnie. You know I love you.
LuAnn Douglas says
Wonderful message that I need to take to heart daily. Thank you Sunnie.
Roxanne Watts says
Darling, i never saw in awkward expresions or in inadequacies. I only saw Beautiful . I Love you unconditonaly …im your mother.
Sunnie Cotton says
Love you, mom!